A Long Way Gone

At the age of twelve, Ishmael Beah fled attacking rebels in Sierra Leone and wandered a land rendered unrecognizable by violence. By thirteen, he'd been picked up by the government army, and Beah, at heart a gentle boy, found that he was capable of truly terrible acts. At sixteen, he was removed from fighting by UNICEF, and through the help of the staff at his rehabilitation center, he learned how to forgive himself, to regain his humanity, and, finally, to heal.

This is an extraordinary and mesmerizing account, told with real literary force and heartbreaking honesty.

This is one of those books that has been a LONG time coming. I bought this book in Hardcover WAY back when I was working at Coles because I REALLY wanted to read it, and was super choked when the Trade Paper edition came out and I still hadn't gotten around to reading my hardcover copy of it. Should have just waited and saved myself a few bucks. 

Books like these I really need to be in a "mood" to read. There are lots of books fiction and non, that I could pick up whenever and read, but many heavier topics, like war, abuse, and the like, I need to really prepare for. I'm not sure what it was about the timing this time, but the thought just hit me: "Now is the time." followed quickly by "Jeez, I hope I know where I put that book" (I still have an inkling that one of my boxes of books has been missing since we moved to this house back in 2012, but I can only know offhand of 2 books that I am missing) but it was exactly where I expected it to be, on my To-Read bookshelf in my room, next to my bed. So now was time to read my (seemingly) annual, token, Non-Fiction book. ;)

Beah has had quite the life. He writes about his experiences prior to, during, and after he escapes his recruitment into the Governments Army, and not one piece of it I can imagine living myself. I feel I have to use the word "surreal". I cannot imagine a life that is so far removed from the western culture that I live in. The closest I ever get to his life is "camping", and when I say that I mean staying in a rented cabin with plumbing. So his life prior to the war, his "normal" is still surreal for me. Then during the war, for obvious reasons, surreal. Visiting New York and being completely culture shocked and out of his element -- Surreal. I think that is also what makes books like these so important. It's easy to get into that westernized "bubble" where we complain about first world problems when people are having their families killed and being recruited to fight and kill one another. What a horrid life to have to live through.

One of the greatest parts of Beah's story is his own character arch, and I think he recognized this in himself when he was writing it. It was interesting to see him progress from this extremely carefree, somewhat naive boy prior to being brought into the war, becoming an extremely angry and violent boy soldier, to a rehabilitated man with a desire to create change and help others in need, not only in his own community, but around the world.

I was also really impressed by the rehabilitation staff that worked with Beah. It was amazing how these people really lived the "walk around in someone elses shoes" thing. These kids were still young violent boys when they arrived at the centre, but not one of those staff blamed these kids for the trouble and pain that they caused when they first got there. They really got it as well as anyone can "get" what these kids went through without going through it themselves. They understood that those kids weren't really being their true selves in that environment, and that they had to work to really become themselves again. It gave me a new expectation for myself for when I go back to working at Kilburn Hall or if I ever get the chance to work in inner city schools.

This was a great memoir, and Beah's story is amazing, but this book was not without fault. I was glad this book was about Beah's journey and not just about being a soldier, but the soldier part was the shortest section of this entire book and I felt it could have been expanded on more. That being said I do understand that maybe Beah didn't want to "go there" too much and focused far more on the positive, but it just really wasn't what I expected. Because of the soldier portion of his live being expanded on so little, the progression from innocence, to violent, to rehabilitation seemed very abrupt. We were given the impression that all of this happened rather quickly, when in reality I cannot imagine one can become a killer so easily, and I also can't imagine his rehabilitation was a short process. Beah speaks of how months went on between each event, but I still feel it could have been flushed out more in order to give more relative idea of the time that had passed.

I also wasn't all that enthused with the ending, it really felt like I was left hanging. the very beginning of the book he talks about what it's like being in America, going to school with kids that don't really "get it", so it would make sense to me if the book ended with him arriving in America, but it doesn't. It feels like there is a bit more to the story we should have been told, but for some reason Beah didn't want to tell it to us. 

A book that has a subtitle of "Memoirs of a Boy Soldier" is pretty much guaranteed to be a pretty rough read. So no surprises here. If you don't think you'll be a fan of the subject matter, this isn't for you. But that being said, this one really could have been a lot darker and a lot tougher.  Or perhaps I had just prepared myself for what was to come too well and thus it didn't seem as bad as it could have been. But anyone that is familiar with the LRA, the Rebels in Sierra Leone, and the other fighting resistances in multiple areas of Africa may already be aware of the drug use, gang rapes, murders, etc. that these boys are expected (or forced) to take part in. I think that just by reading the description of the book you can tell whether or not you would like this book. Trust your gut on this one. ;)

Never Ending Appointments

Last week was a big week for appointments. Initally I was planning on doing a "two week post surgery" update, but really, there was nothing to update then other than I didn't have to goo up Dominic's lip any more and he was off the antibiotics to ensure he had no infections. Plus I knew that this crazy week was coming up, so I guess I am doing a One Month Post Surgery post instead. Now that we've had a few more followups, there is a bit more to report on.

His G-button is going pretty Ok, however, I'm not really a huge fan. It causes me to run around the house more finding his tube in the morning and at night, and we still haven't mastered feeding through it while cuddling, so mamma's not all that impressed. I don't find it much better than the NG tube as far as ease goes. I think it is a lot better for Dominic though. Not having a tube stuck to his face all the time is pretty great for him. I still am nervous about it catching on things, but I'm sure I'll get over that eventually. I just have to get used to it and have THIS become the norm. Right now it is still pretty new.

His Cleft lip repair looks great to me. We had the followup with the Plastic Surgeon and she says it's not perfect, because we had to wait until he was older she had to stretch the skin and muscle he had in his lip further, so it resulted in non-perfection, which I figure she is more worried about than I am. (pretty sure that is typical of plastic surgeons, they want everything to look perfect) I just super-like the fact he doesn't have a big gaping hole in his face. I think her biggest issue was that he doesn't have that space between his gums and lip (like if you put your tongue between your front teeth and your top lip with your mouth closed, to make the monkey face, he doesn't have that space for his tounge), but she said that we can kinda go back and fix that down the road. The next big step is his first palate surgery, which she says she would never do until at least 3 months after the lip surgery. So she's saying September/October sometime. That's fine with me, that'll put him into the 13-14 month range, and normally they try to do it at 10-14 months. I was pretty much just hoping they would get back on schedule with these cleft surgeries so I am totally happy with that timeline.

We met with a "hand specialist", whom I believe is also a plastic surgeon but no one ever actually told me this, about his thumb on his right hand. He has always tucked it into his palm, ever since he was born, and he pretty much keeps his had fisted all the time. It was pointed out as a concern when we came back to RUH from Edmonton after his first surgery by one of his nurses. Because of his stroke, the most likely factor causing his muscles to tighten was something in his brain, so neurology was called to see him first. Neurology said it didn't look like a stroke issue and that it was probably a joint issue. So the joint people were called, and they said his joint was fine, so it must be a neurology issue.... and that's the issue we have been dealing with ever since. No one would take responsibility for his thumb not resting how it was supposed to rest. When we saw this hand specialist he figured it was probably a bit of both. So referred us to a Occupational Therapist at the University and we went and got a him a small splint for his hand to pull his thumb out of his fist at night, just to loosen the joint and muscle, basically addressing both problem areas at the same time. It's one of those things that I think when he gets older he will be able to cognitively keep it stretched on his own and it'll get better, but right now as he's not thinking about it we don't want it to get worse.So we'll keep doing this splinting until it's not an issue anymore or he can control it on his own.

The last big appointment we had last week was at the Kinsmen Children's Centre (KCC) with Dominic's Physio Therapist, Occupational Therapist, and Speech and Language Pathologist (SLP). Dominic is getting better with his motor control and balance and everyone seems to feel his is doing pretty well for all that he's been through. I think he will catch up for the most part, but I think he may be playing catch up in a lot of ways his whole life. I'm sorta still coming to terms with that. But he's really not SUPER far behind. We just have to keep working on it. The last time we had a meeting with his SLP she was asking what kinds of sounds he was making, and he mostly just does vowels for the most part, so she suggested mimicking his sounds and then throwing in some consonant sounds that we think he can still do with his unrepaired cleft palate (so sounds like M and N that don't require air to be trapped within his mouth) to see if he would mimic them back to me. So we had been working on that at home, and had made a wee bit of progress with Ms, but not a lot. At this appointment I told her so and she gave me a bit of a look and said that she had done more research on speech development in kids with clefts like Dominic's and she found some articles stating that they tend to develop the consonant stage quite a bit later than regular kids, I pressed her for how long and she gave me wishy-washy answers and I kept pushing more, so she admitted that he probably won't get those consonants down until 30 months of age... so about 2 and a half years old. That was a pretty big blow considering that if she was working from a normal kid's ability range, he should already be doing this. That is quite the set back. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying, but it changes our plans for the future a bit. The SLP and I talked about alternative forms of communication, so it's lucky I have a bit of sign language under my belt.

For the most part Dominic's appointments slow down for most of the summer, partially of my own making. I contacted all of Dominic's specialists that I figured would want to see him over the summer months and booked them at times I knew we would be home from the lake or pushed them back to the fall (most of them actually). So Dominic updates are probably going to be pretty few and far between after this. Just know that he is doing well, and we're working on everything and he'll be getting a tonne of fresh air at the lake whenever we can swing it! ;)

The House We Grew Up In

Meet the Bird family. They live in a honey-colored house in a picture-perfect Cotswolds village, with rambling, unkempt gardens stretching beyond. Pragmatic Meg, dreamy Beth, and tow-headed twins Rory and Rhys all attend the village school and eat home-cooked meals together every night. Their father is a sweet gangly man named Colin, who still looks like a teenager with floppy hair and owlish, round-framed glasses. Their mother is a beautiful hippy named Lorelei, who exists entirely in the moment. And she makes every moment sparkle in her children's lives.

Then one Easter weekend, tragedy comes to call. The event is so devastating that, almost imperceptibly, it begins to tear the family apart. Years pass as the children become adults, find new relationships, and develop their own separate lives. Soon it seems as though they've never been a family at all. But then something happens that calls them back to the house they grew up in -- and to what really happened that Easter weekend so many years ago.

Told in gorgeous, insightful prose that delves deeply into the hearts and minds of its characters, The House We Grew Up In is the captivating story of one family's desire to restore long-forgotten peace and to unearth the many secrets hidden within the nooks and crannies of home. 



This book is a bit tough for me to pin down. I was Ok. I liked it. But after the powerhouse read of Life After Life this one very much paled in comparison. I can't really say there was anything wrong with it. It was fine. But there was very little real substance. It deals with a few hard hitting issues -- suicide, infidelity, mental illness, forgiveness -- without going far enough into them to really examine and break down the issues. I think it was an attempt to touch on them without making the novel feel dark, but I think that also made it lose a bit of it's power. I've read other books, for example Accidents of Providence, that deal with strong issues and I am left bawling and feeling so devastated by how events transpired. In this story, I just kinda felt like "Oh that's sad" and then continued on. It really didn't effect me the way that I feel Jewell intended.

The story transpired well enough. The progression of the story was fluid and revealed certain plot points well. There was a preoccupation with Easter that was a bit weird for me. I felt that Christmas would have been a more appropriate holiday to focus on, but perhaps someone with a Christian background might pick up on more subtle things about the Easter story that would have made it make more sense?.. or maybe Jewell prefers spring to winter? Who knows. An unanswered question that may or may not have any relevance to the story.

I would consider this one a lighter read, in spite of some of the topics addressed in it. Not as light as a chick-lit novel though. So it could be a good summer read for some, and a deeper read for others. It was an OK read, just don't expect too much from this one.

Life After Life

On a cold and snowy night in 1910, Ursula Todd is born, the third child of a wealthy English banker and his wife. Sadly, she dies before she can draw her first breath. On that same cold and snowy night, Ursula Todd is born, lets out a lusty wail, and embarks upon a life that will be, to say the least, unusual. 

For as she grows, she also dies, repeatedly, in any number of ways. Clearly history (and Kate Atkinson) have plans for her: In Ursula rests nothing less than the fate of civilization.

I have never read anything like this book in my entire life and that is enough on it's own to make me say I really enjoyed it. However, the book in it's entirety makes me say that I loved it and hope many more people read it. It is always nice to read something SO different from anything I have ever read before to shift my perspective and thinking on concepts and issues. So I have quite a bit to say about it ;)

That being said, I would not say this is an easy read. It is very complex with the basis of it's story being akin to parallel universes, coupled with the butterfly effect, and also a bit of what I will call "magic" to prevent any spoilers. Keeping storylines straight is extremely difficult if you aren't prepared for it. At the very beginning I needed to back track to understand what exactly was going on but it got easier the further I got into the book. Without giving any spoilers, if you choose to read this one, know that each time Ursula dies and the story continues, it goes back in time only far enough for something to change the outcome of the death she just experienced. It can be assumed that she would, in fact, go live her entire life all over again, but the reader doesn't need to read it all over again so it only goes back to the point of change, everything else before it is the same. 

The other reason I found this book tougher to read at the start was more conceptual. Ursula dies several times in her childhood and most of those deaths could be considered a mother's worst nightmare. I cried often for those early deaths. Some were enough to give a mother nightmares. Not that they are at all horrific in nature, but just that they happen at all. Looking away or getting distracted for more than a minute was enough to result in her death sometimes. It's heartbreaking. And then there were other times where her death seemed completely unavoidable from a mother's, or outsiders's, perspective. But still, the story starts over somewhere new.

I have heard it argued, although I can't remember where, that parallel universes are an impossible concept because without any change in the world (and physics generally trumps change in an earthly manner), people are bound to make the same decisions over and over because nothing will have changed to make their decisions change. When presented with a choice, no matter how "on the fence" you are, you will make the same choice every time because you will not have changed as a person and nothing different will have happened to sway you the opposite way to what you chose in the first place. But with the occassional element of "magic" in this book, that makes this possible and it is extremely interesting. But it also shows that sometimes things are just meant to be and cannot be changed, no matter how many do-overs one gets. The butterfly effect -- It's such an interesting concept!

I noticed when I went to "complete" this book on GoodReads that it was chosen as the GoodReads Best Historical Fiction book of 2013, and I really think it deserved it. I honestly think that anyone could enjoy this book given the most supportive environment to read it in. You will need a short period of dedicated time: I can only imagine putting this book down for more than a few days and trying to pick it back up would be difficult. The more you can read at once the better. You need to be OK with a multitude of storylines of the same character and know that you will be confused at some points, but Atkinson does bring you back to the scene pretty effectively if you let her. It is OK to be confused, just go with it. If you need to flip back and forth to remember dates, that's OK, you probably will and it will help a bit, but don't try to memorize all of them, you will drive yourself crazy. If you feel you're up to it, let this book take you on it's crazy ride. I found it to be an extremely enjoyable one!