A Fortunate Granddaughter

Grandparents are some of the greatest gifts we are ever given. They have so much life experience to offer us and can love us differently than parents can. They can spoil us rotten and hand us back when we have tantrums. Grandparents are a blessing. I have seen that with my own grandparents and the grandparents of my children.

I have been so extremely fortunate to have one set of grandparents live into their 90s, and be pretty healthy to boot. But one thing about aging grandparents is that you know their time is coming relatively soon. They can't live forever, they start to slow down, start having trouble doing things that used to be part of their regular routine, they tip that point of not just being old, but being old old.

My last surviving Grandpa passed away on October 6th, and he was 94. To be honest, I had been expecting one day to just get a phone call saying he was gone and that was that, but he spent a couple days being sick and I was fortunate enough to go see him one last time. It wasn't the greatest visit, he was mostly sleeping and although I know he knows I was there, it wasn't like we had a big conversation. But I got to tell him I loved him and he was awake enough to acknowledge that he heard me, and that was the greatest gift he could give me at that time.

In a lot of ways we were very fortunate how his passing came about. He lived a very full NINETY FOUR years, and a lot can be said with just that. He gave lots of us a little bit of time to see him, and I know that is something that lots of families don't get. Anyone can die at any time without warning, so I am thankful for our little warning. He also didn't seem to be in a great deal of pain, and he died in his sleep. Many of us wish to go so peacefully. We got a chance to go see him the morning after he passed before he was shipped off to the funeral home, and he just looked like he was sleeping. Like he could have taken a breath at any moment. He got to pass away where he was living rather than in an unfamiliar hospital bed, I think he would have appreciated that.

Even with all of the great things I can say about my grandpas life and also his passing, I am still mourning (Thus the "reason I'm not in the mood to write blog posts" that was addressed last post. The last thing I wrote, like really thought about wrote, was his Obituary. I wasn't ready to let go of that yet). I miss him. I still have regrets. I should have been going to see him more often. I am 32 years old and still had my 94 year old grandpa. I should have been over there whenever I could. I knew this day was coming and still procrastinated waiting for a better day for me to go. One that was more convenient. I still think about him every day.

I was lucky to have him for 32+ years. I will fondly remember all of the time we had together. And I vow to make a greater effort to visit my last remaining grandparent more often, because who knows how long I will have her, and I hope to avoid the regrets I am feeling now over my grandpa.

Grandpa kisses from me. Back in our younger days.

Love you Grandpa. Hope you liked the Obit I wrote for you...

Really Behind...

Generally I don't go this long without updating the blog, so I'm sorry for the delay. It's been two weeks since I posted anything, and to be honest, I haven't been in a writing mood at all lately and there are a few reasons for that (that'll be the next post), I've do have a bit of a ranty, family update post and a couple of book reviews coming. I just can't do it right now. Soon, but not yet. But when I do, you'll probably get a big flurry of them in a short period of time.

So... just stay tuned.

P.S. Sorry for the mostly pointless post, felt I should post something, to let people know that I am not dead and that I do plan on posting again.

Murphy's Law is a Bitch Sometimes

 Of course, right after I post a whiny blog entry about how everything takes forever things start to get going.

I recieved a call from the Stollery with the dates for Dom's cardiac cath procedure. November 18. Pre admission on the 17th.

This is a bit later than I would like, I'm figuring that this will bump Dom's palate surgery to December, and then I worry about Xmas, but it'll do. It's not really that far off, and there are no major events scheduled for that week otherwise. So... It's fine.

Looking forward to when it's done.

Waiting.... and Waiting.... and Waiting...

I expected September and October to be more hectic than they have been, and I'm a bit disappointed that it hasn't been busy.

After talking to the cardiologist last month, I figured it would be a week or two until we got dates for Dom's cath, but we are closing in on a month without hearing any plans about going to Edmonton. When I talked to Dom's cardiologist on September 8th, I had mentioned to her that Plastics were on the go-ahead with his palate surgery, so that they would need to be notified that it was on hold because of the new developments with Dom's heart, and she said she would let them know that his cath needed to be done first. That didn't happen though, and it became apparent when Dom's plastic surgeon's office called to give us dates for his palate procedure. :/  They had him all booked in to go for his palate surgery and MRI on September 24th, and I got the joyous job of telling them that all of the work and scheduling they had put it was for naught, because cardiology had put a halt on everything. At least now I know to do all this stuff myself. Don't leave it to doctors. It won't get done unless it is directly effecting them.

After telling the plastic surgeon's office to cancel everything, I got a bit worried, what if I misunderstood and I just cancelled everything that could have been done so soon? So I called cardiology to verify that I was SUPPOSED to cancel, the palate procedure, and the did confirm that I was. I then asked about timelines for Edmonton only to be told that the cardiologist I had previously spoken to was now off for a week and nothing would be booked until she was back. I planned to be the squeaky wheel when she got back, but never thought of calling while the office was open. So this week I called and started my squeaky wheel approach. Right now, it sounds like October isn't looking good for Edmonton, and November is looking far more likely. I got my word in about how this is delaying Dom's other surgery, and they said they would do their best to make it work as soon as they can. I'm hoping they are being pessimistic.

But for now we just wait and wait and wait...

Still Alice

Alice Howland, happily married with three grown children and a house on the Cape, is a celebrated Harvard professor at the height of her career when she notices a forgetfulness creeping into her life. As confusion starts to cloud her thinking and her memory begins to fail her, she receives a devastating diagnosis: early onset Alzheimer's disease. Fiercely independent, Alice struggles to maintain her lifestyle and live in the moment, even as her sense of self is being stripped away. In turns heartbreaking, inspiring and terrifying, Still Alice captures in remarkable detail what's it's like to literally lose your mind...


I really didn't have any interest in this novel until the movie was nominated for a bunch of Academy Awards. It was popular when I was working at the bookstores and my book snobbishness got in the way. I didn't get a chance to read it before the Oscars, but when the film popped up on Netflix, I figured there was no time like the present!

This is a really brilliant novel that gets into your head. The complexities of a neurological disorder like Alzheimer's can make an audience feel disassociated, but Genova does a great job of showing how people with Alzheimer's can be completely lucid at some points and lost in the next. To be honest, at many points while reading what Alice was going through, I questioned whether I have early-onset Alzheimer's myself. And I really think that's Genova's point: it can happen to anyone. It's not one of those things that if you stop using it, you lose it. You can do brain teasers and read every day, but if Alzheimer's is in your genes, you're going to get it regardless. Might be when you're 40, or it could be when you're 90. There is no way to tell.

One of the other elements captured by this novel is how difficult it is on her family. I think the earlier signs of Alzheimer's are more difficult for the person going through it, the frustrations of not having any control. Whereas the later more drastic forms of it are tougher on family, at some point the person with Alzheimer's becomes somewhat complacent with their constant state of confusion, but watching a loved one deteriorate like that can be devastating. I was reminded of this video on YouTube that I think someone posted on facebook a while back of a Daughter with her Mom that has Alzheimers. It's a very sweet video of one of the few lucid moments that mean so much. It's amazing that the daughter caught it on camera. That is a moment to treasure forever and watch over and over.