In the Land of Erotica...

The next book selection that I read, I must admit, I read because there was A HELL of A LOT of fuss about it. I have stated before that my book snobishness generally makes me avoid books that become popular, but sometimes I get suckered in because SO MANY people love it, it must be good, right? This is initially what also led me to read The DaVinci Code, and if you have read many of my posts, we all know how that turned out. *puke*

50 Shades of Grey really caught my attention because I haven't really seen that big of a fuss about a book since the DaVinci Code. But what sets it apart from the DaVinci Code, is that 50 Shades is considered *gasp* EROTICA! Oh my goodness! The shame!

Now, I should mention my background on Erotic Literature. I have read some of them, more out of curiosity than anything, and they are terrible. When I worked at Coles, they were shelved in a subsection of the Romance section, but there is nothing romantic about these books. The ones I read (yes, more than one, but less than 5) were the equivalent of Harlequin romance books. They had series' called Black Lace and Blue Moon that were all basically pornographic. They were pornographic literature. There was no point to them except titilation. They are terrible writing, thin plot, and extremely graphic in nature. Crap. Absolute crap.

So why did I decide to read 50 Shades? Because of the popularity. There must be SOMETHING different about this book that TONS of people have read it, loved it, and recommend it to others. I don't think ANY other Erotica book has ever made any public bestseller list like this one has.

The genre of Erotica has not scared me away like, I'm sure, many others have been. This is because there are works of Erotica that are considered classics, or art. The Marquis de Sade wrote many poems, novels and short stories that have made him highly acclaimed... granted, in his own time he was institutionalized for it, but that's just because he was ahead of his time. John Donne is another person who wrote very sexualized poetry in his younger years... before he became a preacher...

The following is the review, I hope it clears up any other people that may consider reading it...

~*~

Oh. My. Lord.

Ok, I must admit, this book isn't quite as horrible as the other Porn-in-book-form I have read. It does have a bit of a plot, and it's not, basically, constant sex right from beginning to end. You have to wait until Chapter 8, more than 100 pages in before you get to any sex... but... oh my god. There is still a lot of sex in it. I may have blushed a time or two, but I have still concluded this book still is meant to be titillation.

I kinda get why all these women are in love with this book. It has the “romance novel” aspect to it insofar as that this virgin collage student is swept off her feet by a bzillionaire, and he buys her lots of stuff, and does some really crazy things to her in bed... So it's basically the writing quality of a romance novel, with a whole crapload of sex. But for whatever reason, I don't think many women would admit to watching porn (or in many cases, don't want to watch it anyway), but will admit to reading a book that is basically porn. And then recommend it to people!? Weird... Is this because reading is held in higher regard than watching films is? That somehow that makes this book socially acceptable? I don't know. I just don't get it.

I should also point out I have never read anything classified as a romance novel in my life. I think that this book or the Twilight series would be the closest I ever got. But I have a feeling this is somewhere in between the quality of a romance novel and Stephenie Meyer's writing. There was some depth to the characters (WAY more than in the book-o-porno I'd read before), and it wasn't as cheesy (most of the time) as I imagine romance novels to be, but there is some inevitable cheesiness... just not as bad... so... yeah...

So in conclusion, I would like to say, I completed reading this novel, but I have no intention of reading the other two in the series. I like books that I feel comfortable reading in a public place... this book would never left my house because it would make me feel like a creep reading it in public. So, so creepy.

(Just a short sidenote: I still liked this better than The DaVinci Code. The DaVinci Code tried to play itself off as a really clever book, when really I figured out what was going to happen, or what the clues were leading to CHAPTERS before the characters did. Plus the chapters were really short so that non-readers would think they were doing REALLY good by being on chapter 45 when that's only something like 100 pages into the book. Fifty Shades is exactly what it claims to be. An Erotic Romance. Plain and simple. If you like Romances, and you want something a little more risque, this book is perfect for you. The DaVinci Code is not for anyone. It's stupid. Don't read it. End of Story.)

Warning: Politics included

*Warning - this article and post deal with some pretty heafty issues, if you don't want to know my political opinions, leave now. If you are faint of heart and don't like talking about abortion or dead babies, LEAVE NOW! Don't read any further!!!*


Couple suffer because of Abortion Law in Nebraska


I read the above article today because it came up in my News Feed on Facebook, and I had a pretty strong reaction to it. 


These days, I cry about almost anything baby related. Good stories, Sad stories, anything in between. I have always had opinions on anything baby related, but a few of them have changed since I became a mom. I think this is pretty common for any parent.


I cried reading the above article, because it involved a mom holding her baby while she died in her arms. I cannot imagine if that had happened to Rosalie. I would be devastated and I don't know if I would ever get over it. Thankfully, this is not the case, but it still makes me upset.


But really, what gave me the strong reaction is that this couple decided they wanted to terminate a pregnancy after 20 weeks, because the mom's water had broken and there was nothing the doctors could do for her. The law in Nebraska makes terminating a pregnancy after 20 weeks illegal, so the mom's labour started at 22 weeks, her daughter struggled to breathe for 15 minutes and then died. They are now speaking out against the law because they feel in their special case an abortion should have been allowed. 


Now, *technically* I am pro-choice. Pregnancy is not for everyone and I understand that, some situations (such as rape or extreme mental and physical deficiencies in fetuses) I believe that it may be a good choice to terminate a pregnancy. If someone I knew got pregnant and had an abortion early in their pregnancy, I would not agree with it, but I wouldn't hold it against her. It is her choice. People make mistakes, that's why they have erasers on the ends of most pencils. 


But I am somewhat in support of the Nebraska law because it's based on the research that states that fetuses can feel pain at 20 weeks gestation. [warning: suggested graphic images coming! Do not go further if you don't think you want to read what I am about to write next!! This is your last warning!] Anyone who has seen the documentary Lake of Fire will know that at 20 weeks gestation they have to basically chop up your fetus in utero and suck it out with a vacuum. I can imagine that this would be torturous for a baby. 


Personally, if the situation had happened to me, I would rather deliver my baby that I knew wouldn't survive, hold her for those 15 minutes, watch her die, and bury her completely intact. I would not want to go sit in a chair while a doctor chops up the baby inside of me and sucks her out and then have her in pieces in a sink. That makes me sick.


[/rant]


If anyone is interested in watching an amazing documentary on abortion, see the film Lake Of Fire, as I mentioned above. It is extremely graphic and horrible to watch at times, but it changed my opinion on abortion. You can tell the filmmaker is pro-choice. He tries to remain unbias, but you can totally tell what his agenda is. Although it is interesting because that film made me a little more pro-life, just because it showed you exactly how an abortion is done. He tells the story of girls that are getting these abortions and your heart just breaks for them. The pro-lifers are portrayed as crazy, bible thumping yuppies with little to no education, and also promote evil in many other ways. But 10 years ago if you asked me my position on abortion I would have said "Whatever! It's up to the woman. She can do whatever she wants!" but now... I have a few more issues with abortion at all. Interesting movie anywhoo. Check it out if you can stomach it.

Reading at the Lake

So, I learned something on this trip to the lake. No matter how little time you have to read at home, ALWAYS bring a second book to the lake...

On every single trip I have taken anywhere in the past 20 years I have always brought multiple books. Most of the time, I don't need the extras I bring. They usually sit in my bag, carefully protected by clothes and other items, and are not removed until I get home. On this past trip to the lake, I only brought the book I was about 1/3 of the way through, but did not bring an extra. Why would I? I hadn't gotten to read a significant portion of my book at home, and there are SO many more fun things to do at the lake, I didn't think I would have a chance to finish the book I was on, let alone start another one. How wrong I was! Because I don't want Rosalie getting too much sun, or being accosted by all of the evil bugs up here, we generally go outside at least once a day, but never for too long, always in the shade, and the nice clean air with a high oxygen content puts her right to sleep... for several hours. And what is the prime leisure activity for a book geek/snob/nazi? Read, of course!

So this is the book I swiped off of my mom's lake bookshelf in order to have something to read for the last half (!) of my lake trip. For the record I did not realize that it was a movie before I started reading it. I didn't realize this until I was a few chapters in and one night my mom suggested watching a movie and she listed off the ones she brought up, and lo and behold, Sun Flower and the Secret Fan was one of them! So I apologize for doing two reviews in a row on books that have been made into movies, the next one, I promise, will not be.

~*~

In nineteenth-century China, in a remote Hunan county, a girl named Lily, at the tender age of seven, is paired with a laotong, “old same,” in an emotional match that will last a lifetime. The laotong, Snow Flower, introduces herself by sending Lily a silk fan on which she’s painted a poem in nu shu, a unique language that Chinese women created in order to communicate in secret, away from the influence of men. As the years pass, Lily and Snow Flower send messages on fans, compose stories on handkerchiefs, reaching out of isolation to share their hopes, dreams, and accomplishments. Together, they endure the agony of foot-binding, and reflect upon their arranged marriages, shared loneliness, and the joys and tragedies of motherhood. The two find solace, developing a bond that keeps their spirits alive. But when a misunderstanding arises, their deep friendship suddenly threatens to tear apart.

As with many historical fiction novels, this book makes a point of giving the reader a glimpse of what the cultural beliefs of the time were. I am always shocked by the way women were treated in various historical societies. In this case, the Chinese culture, where women are tortured with their footbinding traditions and where the sentement “Thank you for raising a worthless daughter” is a typical statement made by a new bride to her parents as she is leaving her natal home, on her way to her new husband's abode, among other ghastly scenarios. This hatred of women is something I don't believe I will EVER understand. How can women be considered so worthless when they are the ones that bring men into this world? I know this is a very modern consideration, but I don't understand how it could possibly be overlooked in the past, by anyone, anywhere.

I was really moved by this book on several occasions because of the fabulous sisterhood and female friendships in this book. I loved the concept of a friendship that was arranged, similar to an arranged marriage, and was meant to be more intimate and loving than a husband/wife relationship. I thought it was such a fabulous idea, and it was unfortunate that not all girls had them. When I first read about this laotong relationship, my first thought was “Wow, I wish we had things like that!” then I realized that we have the option of choosing our friends for ourselves, which these girls didn't have... so... we're way better off... I guess I just got into the main character's head a little too much. She was really excited about it, so so was I. :)

Along with the great, exciting times, I also cried on two separate occasions while reading this book. The first was at the loss of a child at birth, which I read, while sitting next to my sleeping daughter. I could not imagine the pain and suffering another mother can endure while holding one of their children that have died, by any means. It's not the right order of things. Children are meant to bury parents, not vice versa. Having only known my daughter for a few months (or almost a year, if you count the time she spent in utero), I cannot imagine my life without her, or how I would have reacted if something had kept her from me after she was born. I don't think I would have accepted it as well as the woman did in this book.

The second time was when a correspondence, which turns out to be a miscommunication, leaves one of the girls feeling betrayed and abandoned, and the other feeling confused and alone. I can relate to both women on the side of this misunderstanding. On the one hand, Women are fickle, spiteful, horrible creatures. I have been scorned on so many occasions by female friends throughout my entire life I don't care to even think about how many of them there have been. Whether it has been as a young girl when someone I considered an extremely close friend abandoned me with the potential to hang out with a more popular crowd; to the preteen and teenage years where, like some people are serial daters, I was the victim of serial “bestfrienders”, where I went from being the first person my bestfriend wanted to hang out with, to being slowly forgotten for someone else; and then right up through to my late-twenties when friends have chosen to determine my motives before I have even acted and made me feel like an outsider that's not welcome. I dealt with this situations very differently when I got older. When I was young, I would be hurt, but I would accept the change and move on. As I got older I got progressively more angry and dealt with things more rashly. I think it's because my friendships now mean so much more to me, that it hurts more to feel that you aren't worthy, or aren't loved in return. I don't blame the character in this book for acting so impulsively and trying to hurt the other woman as much as she had been hurt.

On the other hand, women react according to our emotions rather than logic on many occasions. I have seen this in myself as well as every single one of my female friends. When someone insults or betrays a woman, many of us react with anger and hostility and are so content to be angry and hostile that we may not listen to reason after the fact. Anger makes you see red, and very little can disorient that skewed vision. The written word is the worst for leading to these assumptions. Misinterpretations happen all the time simply because of the lack of tone in anything written. Another problem is that many women love drama, and will throw others under the bus in order to gossip and hate or be angry other women. It's brutal. I have had enough fortune that I have not been entirely cut from another woman's life because of a misinterpretation of what I have written or said, but I have had friends that have. So I can understand how awful it is for the second woman, who scorned her friend unintentionally and had to suffer the consequences without really knowing what happened.

These types of problems don't seem to happen with men. Who knows why, but I am glad my daughter will grow up surrounded by many boys the same age as her. Hopefully, this will help spare her from the horridness of a clan of women, even if only in her early life.

Ok... back on track now (sorry for the tangent, but this book really did evoke plenty of emotions for me). This book is fabulous. If you love historical fiction, reading about friendships, enjoy a good cry once and a while, like chinese history, etc., etc., etc.,... basically if you are a woman that likes to read fiction. Period. Read this book. You will enjoy it I promise. And hopefully it'll give you a lot to think about, like the way it had for me.

How to finish a book...

...when you're the mother of a 2 ½ month old.

Step 1: Go to the lake... Step 2: Make sure you spend at least an hour outside a day, to give your child optimal oxygen intake... Step 3: Read to your hearts content, because your child will sleep the majority of the time spent in the cabin.

~*~

Remember that book I mentioned that I had technically been reading since the night before I went into labour? I finished it today. Hurrah! It only took me, oh, almost 11 weeks. Sheesh! What kind of book nerd am I? I can't even remember when the last time it took me 11 weeks to read a book... But, YAY! My first current book review. Maybe if I get lots of time at the lake this summer I might squeak another review in before fall...

It’s 1988 and Dexter Mayhew and Emma Morley have only just met. But after only one day together, they cannot stop thinking about one another. Over twenty years, snapshots of that relationship are revealed on the same day—July 15th—of each year. Dex and Em face squabbles and fights, hopes and missed opportunities, laughter and tears. And as the true meaning of this one crucial day is revealed, they must come to grips with the nature of love and life itself.

The book I read is One Day by David Nicholls. If anyone is familiar, this IS the book that the movie starring Anne Hathaway and *swoon* Jim Sturgess. [Haven't seen it yet, wanted to wait 'til I finished the book, EVEN though it has my hollywood boyfriend in it. Book Nerd credibility restored] It tells the story of Dexter Mayhew and Emma Morely through their friendship in annual increments over twenty years beginning on the day that their friendship started – July 15, 1988.

This is a fabulous summer read! It's pretty light hearted and funny at points, but is real in so far as many friendships have their difficult moments, and if Dexter and Emma's weren't caught on the exact anniversary date, then the repercussions of those tough moments reverberated on the next July 15^th, and so we know exactly where they were at, how they feel, and what important events have happened over the year. I found the writing style, of the annual increments, great for my situation because putting it down and picking it up chapter by chapter is a pretty effective way of living their relationship. I didn't need to remember precisely what happened in the last chapter (or last year, if you want to think about it that way), because they have an ever evolving relationship all the time, and if an incident needs to be made reference to, it is.

Fun book. Very entertaining. Can't wait to watch the movie (when I have time)