Too Long!!

I keep writing blog entries that just state that I will be back and that I have entries planned for the future, but life has gotten so out of hand I haven't made any ground on any of them. I am super tired today, so I am just going to post a [relatively] short explanation and then go back to neglecting my blog for a while. I still plan to come back! But it may be a while.

Our summer was really busy, as most summers are. We were up at the lake a few times, and we were out in BC and Alberta for a couple weeks and the end of July and beginning of August (blog post pending). I really wanted to make a point of making the best of our summers because before long the kids will be grown and we will only have these memories. Brayden just turned 15 (birthday blog post pending) at the beginning of September, so I don't know how much longer we will have him for family trips before hanging out with his family becomes too lame.

I have also taken up knitting which has cut into my reading time. I haven't read nearly as much as I normally do lately, but I have a couple completed projects to show off and I am working on more (blog post pending).

We've had a bit of a hospital centred summer as well for a couple reasons. The predictable one is that many of Dominic's follow-up appointments happened around the time he turned 2 (birthday blog post pending), many doctors want to see how he is doing and 2 years old is a pretty good time to predict how the future is going to go just because he now has a decent amout of living under his belt and we can predict the future from his past. When he was brand new he was a blank slate and no one knew what path he was on. Now, that's a little more predictable (blog post pending).

The other reason that we have spent so much time at the hospital is because Brayden had an Open Heart Surgery (OHS) in June. He has been followed by the same cardiology doctors as Dominic but started seeing them WAY before Dominic was born. Brayden was born with a Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD), which is basically a hole in his heart. It has been monitored ever since we got custody of him (it was supposed to be monitored since he was born,... but... we had no control over his doctors appointments before he came to live with us.... so....yeah....) and it was never a big concern. It was stable and not effecting Brayden at all. This summer things changed and he needed surgery to close the hold and repair some other damage caused by the hole. That happened at the beginning of June and went swimmingly. He then had a followup in July that was also fine. But then his followup in August showed some complications. Brayden was hospitalized even though he felt 100% and had several tests run on him. All of them came back negative or inconclusive, and then the doctors considered Brayden a man of mystery. He was put on antibiotics that were given through an IV at home 3 times a day. We adjusted his school schedule to accommodate this and he was discharged from hospital after about a week. He had another cardiology followup in September that showed no change in the complications, the antibiotics didn't get rid of it, but it also wasn't getting worse, so he remained on the antibiotics. Last night at about midnight he had some serious gut pain that got out of control and Roland took him into the Emergency Room. After a bunch more tests, it was determined that the antibiotics were giving him gallstones, and he was admitted to the hospital again. And that's where we are at now. We don't know a course of action yet, but we have been told he will be there a minimum of 5 days.

So blah.

That's why I have no time to blog or read.

So excuse a further hiatus that is going to happen. I may try to update on Brayden, but I make no promises. But I will try to check back (I read other's blogs) so if you are interested, post a comment and I will hopefully get it and be reminded to make time to post.

Until next time! Cheers!

Not On Purpose...

I have been on a very unintentional hiatus where my blog is concerned, and all I can do to excuse my absence is to blame summertime. This has been an extremely busy summer and we haven't been home too much, and when we have been home in Saskatoon, I try not to spend too much time at home. I am very much a home body and if left to my own devices I might just sit at home and do nothing all summer, but I would never do that to my kids. So I have been filling our mornings with activities, then naps happen in the afternoon (including mine), evenings often get filled with household chores, and then I am too pooped at night to be bothered to make coherent sentences.

If it is any consolation, I have been filling my "me time" with lots of books and new skills, so I am having a good time while neglecting the internet world. And I am also behind in much of my book blog posts and also have new things to talk about... ya know... when I have time :/

So stay tuned! Lots coming up when I have time to breathe!

The Walking Dead

How many hours are in a day when you don't spend half of them watching television?

When is the last time any of us REALLY worked to get something we wanted?

How long has it been since any of us really NEEDED something that we WANTED?

The world we knew is gone.

The world of commerce and frivolous necessity has been replaced by a world of survival and responsibility.

An epidemic of apocalyptic proportions has swept the globe causing the dead to rise and feed on the living.

In a matter of months society has crumbled.
no government, no grocery stores, no mail delivery, no cable TV.

In a world ruled by the dead, we are forced to finally start living.


So, technically this /\ is just the description for the first volume, but I figured it works best this way. For the record I have no intention of reviewing further volumes in the series, but I do plan on reading them all. It's one of those things where I feel like I'm cheating. As much as I appreciate Graphic Novels and Comic Books I don't really feel like I've accomplished as much as when I read a novel. Generally (depending on how much time I have) I can polish one of these volumes off in a day. If I didn't have children and could read from cover to cover without breaks (like I used to) I would probably be done in an hour. 

I have battled with the idea of reading these graphic novels ever since I really started to enjoy the Walking Dead TV series. However, one thing kept me saying "why bother?" and that was the lack of Daryl Dixon in the comic books. I LOVE Daryl. To the point that it seemed unnecessary to read any Walking Dead material without him in it. I even often complain about episodes that don't have enough Daryl in them. I also think that part of me didn't think there would be a point if the books were so different because some characters were in them and not the TV show (and vice versa) that was a glaringly obvious difference that was promoted by Daryl. If they were going to be so different, what was the point of reading the graphic novels? Perhaps I should just accept the TV show as it is and ignore everything the comics have to offer. To be honest, the books are quite different, but this last season, with the arrival of Negan (who was highly anticipated and quite the media draw), I felt I couldn't ignore them anymore. 

I am still, to a point, taking what they have to offer with a grain of salt. MANY things about the original story have been changed, so what's to say anything "predicted" won't also be changed in the future? 

They are pretty great though. I have enjoyed them to this point, even if the storylines are a bit different. If you're a fan of the show (or just Zombie stories in general) you should give them a go. I find them still entertaining after watching the show, just maybe treat them as source material for a show that is "loosely based" on them. ;)

The Nest

On a wintry afternoon in New York City, Melody, Beatrice and Jack Plumb gather to confront their charismatic and reckless older brother, Leo, who has just been released from rehab. Leo’s bad behavior before entering rehab, culminating in a car crash while under the influence—a nineteen-year-old waitress beside him—has left the Plumbs’ joint trust fund—“The Nest,” as they’ve taken to calling it—endangered. All four siblings, at very different places in their lives, believe that this money will solve a host of self-inflicted problems and their consequences. And until Leo’s accident, they’d been mere months away from receiving it.

Can Leo get the Plumbs out of this mess, as he’s always been able to do for himself before? Or will the Plumb siblings have to do without the money and the future lives they’ve envisioned? As the siblings grapple with family tensions, old histories, and the significant emotional and financial cost of the accident, Sweeney introduces an unforgettable cast of supporting characters: Leo’s stalwart ex-girlfriend who now thinks that maybe, just maybe, he is capable of change; the waitress whose life was shattered in the accident; the Iraqi war veteran who falls in love with her; and a retired, grieving firefighter with a very big secret.

Tender, funny and deftly written, The Nest explores what money does to relationships, what happens to our ambitions over the course of our lives, and the fraught but unbreakable ties we have with our families. 

I'm going to chalk this one up to the fact that the marketing for this book really worked well on me. I follow a couple different publishers on Facebook, and I get their emails and stuff because I have purchased a few ebooks in the past, and this is a book was one that sounded good and I put it on my "to-read" list when I was first notified of it's pending release, and then I was continued to notified about it for the next few months. THEN I found it at Costco... so having been constantly reminded of it for months, I just picked it up and gave it a go.

This is one of those books that there really isn't anything wrong with, but it just isn't really going to be all that memorable. I didn't really like or dislike any of the characters, the plot was paced fine, but nothing really big happened to make it a real page turner... it was just "fine".

One of the issues may have been the sheer number of characters that narrated chapters in the book. If Sweeney had stuck to just the 4 siblings perhaps it wouldn't have seemed so disjointed, but once you get offspring and spouses and tenants and acquaintances  involved it all gets a bit convoluted. Having more than one narrator can sometimes be frustrating,  but having about 10 is a bit ridiculous. That being said, A Song of Ice and Fire has way more than that and somehow pulls it off for me, (maybe it seems more justified because of the great distances between characters?) so maybe Sweeney just needs to refine her technique a bit more.

The greatest highlight of this book is that I realized the only think I like almost as much as a birth story is a coming out story. I believe that homosexual relationships are very underrepresented in fiction so I LOVED reading about a gay couple's relationship. It was honestly the only thing I can really say I loved about this book. And it only lasted one chapter... not exactly enough to give it an all around high praise.

In conclusion, I wouldn't disuade or encourage anyone to read this book unless they were already interested. If it was on your "to-read" list already, maybe give it a shot. You might like it more than I did for different reasons. But I wouldn't recommend it just off the cuff to whomever was looking for a good next book to read. This is really a take it or leave it kind of book. 

Plant Babies...

I am still very much an amateur gardener, but over the last year or two I've learned a few things and gradually I feel like I am getting better at it.

My biggest struggle has been with tomatoes. As much as I would LOVE to be able to grow a crap tonne of them and just eat tomatoes all summer, until this year I had not been at all successful. The first year I grew them, I started out with them in an egg carton, and put WAY too many seeds in per cup. Then I tried to thin them out by plucking the weaker ones, then I dropped the carton one day and that was the end of my tomato attempt that year. Then last year I put fewer seeds per cup, and I got them to sprout, but then they wilted shortly after sprouting and I couldn't get them to come back. This year, after reading a blog from a friend of mine that is an AMAZING gardener (seriously, he has written books, is a regular expert on CBC radio, lectures at the University on occassion, he gets commissioned for landscaping and garden design all the time... the guy is a gardening genius) I determined that my issue was that my tomato plants weren't getting enough sun. I don't have any spot in my house that gets sun all day that is easily accessable and safe from little hands, that first year I tried moving the carton every hour, but that's why the drop happened. So I got a grow lamp. Best call I have ever made.

And these are just the ones that made it!

These babies are the ones I kept for myself to plant in the garden. I am so proud of these little buggers. I only kept room in my outdoor planter for a few plants thinking that I wouldn't get as many as I did, so, these guys are the winners!

However, when you compare them to greenhouse grown plants, mine pale a bit in comparison.

This is why I don't get paid to garden. The bigger plants I bought from a fundraiser to support a couple of little boys that need international surgeries. (Just a note: this picture is of one of my "winners" about a week before the other picture was taken, so he still looks pretty small in this one. But. Still. Comparison wise, it makes a good point)

Regardless, they are all healthy and happy little plants and they have now been adopted out to their new homes. Given that there were 30 (THIRTY!) extra plants that I did not need, I asked my mom if one of her classes at school might want them for a Father's day project or something. So the Grade 4/5s at my mom's school will now be their plant mammas and pappas.

I am getting more and more into this whole gardening thing! :)

A Child Called It

This book chronicles the unforgettable account of one of the most severe child abuse cases in California history. It is the story of Dave Pelzer, who was brutally beaten and starved by his emotionally unstable, alcoholic mother: a mother who played tortuous, unpredictable games--games that left him nearly dead. He had to learn how to play his mother's games in order to survive because she no longer considered him a son, but a slave; and no longer a boy, but an "it." Dave's bed was an old army cot in the basement, and his clothes were torn and raunchy. When his mother allowed him the luxury of food, it was nothing more than spoiled scraps that even the dogs refused to eat. The outside world knew nothing of his living nightmare. He had nothing or no one to turn to, but his dreams kept him alive--dreams of someone taking care of him, loving him and calling him their son.


This is one of those books that would just not go away. I hadn't heard of it until I started working at Coles in the fall of 2000, but it was already hugely popular by then. If I am not mistaken, my manager at the time had read it and raved about it. But I don't read popular books because I'm a book snob, so I left it. Every so often it would pop up in conversation, and so many people I know loved it and talk about it to this day. So after 15 and a half years, and yet another person telling me it was their favourite book, I figured I would give it a go. Something that has been popular for so long, at very least, I figured was worth my time.

I feel like I am treading on broken glass when it comes to criticizing this book, because how can I give credit to the topic of abuse without praising (possibly) the most popular book shedding light of the topic? So, as much as I didn't like this book as much as many others, keep in mind that I do appreciate the subject of child abuse and I don't think it doesn't happen. I am just completely judging this book on itself, not the topic of abuse.

I think the problem starts with autobiographies in general. In my opinion, almost all autobiographies and memoirs have some element of fiction to them. Frankly, they are based on the author's own opinions of themselves and I don't think many people see themselves as clearly as they see others or others see them. In comparison, the author of a biography has to base their writing on hard facts, so they are generally far more accurate. The other problem is that often people that are not famous that pen memoirs or autobiographies have to answer to an editor before their book gets published. In 2006, there was a big controversy surrounding the book A Million Little Pieces by James Frey (haven't read it, sorry no link ;) ), because it was chosen as an Oprah book club pick, and then it was discovered that there were many aspects of the book that were falsified. When I heard about this, all I could think, when I heard what had been changed or made up was like it sounded like an editor went to town to the point that his story wasn't true anymore. In the case of A Child Called It, I am sure there are some parts that are over edited by an editor. There are some instances where the story is embellished to make it more "entertaining". The best example I can have about this takes place in the first chapter of the book. This part actually is in reference to his escape from the abusive household David was in, but was so cheezy and hollywoodized it was almost unbelievable. As a result I ended up questioning the validity and honesty of almost everything that happens in the book.

As one can see from the book description, this book is not for the faint of heart. The level of abuse that happens is absolutely appalling. I feel compelled to state that I know levels of abuse to this severity happen. There is no doubt about it, however I do question whether it happened to Peltzer. Some family members have gone on record stating that it didn't happen to the levels described in the book. Although one brother did back up Peltzer's account, he also published a book and gained profits off of this alleged abuse. Which is another thing that makes me doubt Peltzer's legitimacy.

This brings us back to the writing style and validity of the story. For such a serious topic the writing style is extremely unpolished. There is a waiver at the beginning stating that it was on purpose to show the perspective of a 4-12 year old, but it wasn't done very well. I feel like the writing needed to be better to give this issue the attention it deserves. I feel it should have been edited more for grammar and style and less for content.

The best thing I can say for this book is that it draws attention to an issue that everyone needs to be aware of. Abuse happens and we cannot remain complacent with hoping that someone else will deal with it. If you want to read a book that will create an urge to become an activist for child rights, then this may be the book for you.

However, overall, if you want to read a book about horrible abuse that happen to children and may give you nightmares (which is what I believe the intended reaction to A Child Called It was), then I would suggest reading Push by Sapphire. Although Push is classified as fiction where A Child Called It is non, I think that the same shock value is there. Sapphire was a counselor that combined attributes of several of her cases to create Precious, so in the same context we KNOW that these abuses happen to children, but she doesn't have to compromise her integrity to tell her story.


P.S. I am not sure why my blog does not like having the text all blue, but it often refuses and I am not sure how to fix it. So just so you know, I'm not unaware it's happening, I just am at a loss of how to correct it :/

Mini Update...

... because there is really not much to report.

Brayden's surgery went well. He was discharged from the hospital on Tuesday, after only 5 days (we were expecting 7-10 days), he and Roland stayed in Edmonton for another couple nights just to be on the safe side, and then they traveled home today!

Brayden is still very sore and on Sternotomy Precautions (which are very different from the ones Dominic were on back when he was an itty bitty!) meaning he can't lift more than 5 pounds or push himself up on his arms to get out of bed or anything. No contact sports. No lifting his arms above shoulder height. He also is still on regular tylenol and advil. And he still seems pretty tired (it's before 10pm and my 14 year old is already in bed) He's got a few other restrictions, but nothing major by any means.

But all is on the mend! And he's doing great!

Thanks for all the well wishes and positive thoughts!

My Grandmother Sends Her Regards and Apologies

'Granny has been telling fairy tales for as long as Elsa can remember. In the beginning they were only to make Elsa go to sleep, and to get her to practise granny's secret language, and a little because granny is just about as nutty as a granny should be. But lately the stories have another dimension as well. Something Elsa can't quite put her finger on...'

Elsa is seven years old and different. Her grandmother is seventy-seven years old and crazy. Standing-on-the-balcony-firing-paintball-guns-at-men-who-want-to-talk-about-Jesus-crazy. She is also Elsa's best, and only, friend. At night Elsa runs to her grandmother's stories, to the Land of Almost-Awake and the Kingdom of Miamas. There, everybody is different and nobody needs to be normal.

So when Elsa's grandmother dies and leaves behind a series of letters apologizing to people she has hurt, it marks the beginning of Elsa's greatest adventure. Her grandmother's letters lead her to an apartment building full of drunks, monsters, attack dogs, and totally ordinary old crones-but also to the truth about fairytales and kingdoms and a grandmother like no other.

My Grandmother Sends Her Regards and Apologises is told with the same comic accuracy and beating heart as Fredrik Backman's bestselling debut novel, A Man Called Ove. It is a story about life and death and one of the most important human rights: the right to be different.


This book had me laughing out loud in the dentist's office in the first 8 pages of the book. I remember thinking to myself, "MAN, I hope the entire book can keep up this momentum!", but I was highly doubtful, and apparently right...Not that it was bad. Actually, I really liked this book. But that first chapter sent my expectations sky high in the humour aspect., but it still was an amazing book. 


Backman has an extremely effective way of writing from a child's perspective without making the writing seem juvenile. Often when author's write from a child's perspective you either have the undignified semantics (like Room), or a disconnect from the child's psyche and ability compared to their writing (or thinking?) style. Backman was able to avoid both of these issues by making Else extremely bright and yet have her learning constantly throughout the book. There are times during Elsa's conversations with adults that if they say a word she doesn't know, she leaves to go find out what it means (usually finding a computer to check wikipedia). It gives her a credibility for her large vocabulary and makes it OK to use words far beyond what a 7 (almost 8) year old* would normally use. She also has great perspectives on issues that may be a big deal to a child but not an adult. For example, when talking about her birthday she says "no child with a birthday two days after Christmas ever gets the same amount of attention as a child born in August of April" (not to mention, WHOA! It's like she's talking directly to me!). We all recognize that it's not ideal to have a birthday close to Christmas, but sometimes I don't think we realize how much that actually effects a child. It certainly effects Elsa, and she has an extremely articulate way of letting the readers know. 

Being that Elsa is so intellegent, it seems important to note that Harry Potter seems to be a bit of prerequisite reading for this book. That obviously wasn't a problem for me, in fact, I particularly enjoyed the references, but is something to be aware of. Being that Elsa is a well read 7, almost 8, year old, it is to be expected. It makes me wonder just how much of an influence Harry Potter was on the initial transcript of this book. Perhaps it was more closely related before the book went through the editing process. Not that it actually matters, the book is what it is NOW, not what it was during the editing process, but... still... it's an interesting thought. 

An enjoyable side note to this book is the interesting choice of chapter titles. All of them were extremely relevant without spoiling of the plot. Most of the chapter titles were objects, and their relevance was not revealed until the moment the reader is made aware of their existence. It was a very effective way of drawing attention to miniscule, yet important details without underestimating the reader, and also gave a method for the reader to be able to look for specific parts (which is the point of chapter titles, right?) without giving anything away.

I really feel that this book is a lot more involved with the reader than most. There is this element throughout the book where Granny's fairy tales from another land (the land of almost awake) are woven into the reality of Elsa's life so fluidly that it had me questioning which came first, the tales or the reality? But then I came to the conclusion that it didn't really matter. However the reader decided to interpret is acceptable. I would never be able to argue one way or the other than someone that felt strongly in that regard. There were times when I really wanted to skip over the fairy tale parts to get back to the "real" stuff, but the fairy tales added to much depth to the story and gave so much more insight into the characters that although they seemed frivolous at times, they are actually completely necessary to understand the story in it's entirety. 

This book is a complete and total recommend to pretty much everyone that enjoys reading fiction. If you need some "Street Cred" in order to read a book about fairy tales and 7 (almost 8) year old girls, then know that this book was originally written in Swedish and was translated to English. And you probably haven't heard of it. It's not ridiculously popular, so that leads us to the fact that it is a great book with high accolades that deserves to be translated into a multitude of languages, unlike some that are just translated to other languages because it got really popular (like 50 Shade of Grey, or the Twilight series or something) 

* Elsa flips between stating she is an "almost eight year old" or "only a seven year old" depending on whether she wants to be seen as more mature, almost an adult, or a child that too much cannot be expected of". I loved her interchanging response to how old she was.

Another Heart Surgery...

... and no, it's not Dominic this time.

Brayden has been seeing the same cardiologists Dominic has since we got custody of him back in 2008. Prior to Dominic being born, I was under the impression Brayden just had a heart murmur that they preferred to keep an eye on. Nothing big. Nothing concerning. However after Dominic was born and Roland and I became uncertified cardiologists ourselves, we discovered that Brayden has a VSD or Ventricular Septal Defect, which are fancy ways of saying he has a hole in his heart. Up until his cardiologist appointments last year, there was no concern. His heart was stable and there was no plan for closing his hole. But last year they noticed that although the hole did get a bit smaller, it was in primary position to start effecting the function of his aortic valve. This year, it was confirmed during his ECHO that it was in fact making his valve "floppy" and that he now needed surgery to close the hole and fix the valve.

Siblings picture before Brayden heads off to Edmonton!

So Brayden and Roland traveled to Edmonton on Wednesday, for his preadmission clinic yesterday, and to prep him for his surgery today. He is second case, which means he goes in just after lunch.

It's interesting the arch Brayden has gone through since we started taking him to these cardiology appointments. I think initally it was just like any other doctor's appointment to him, no real concerns came from it, but it was required he do them every year. When Dominic was born, he went through a phase of "I wish I could have surgery" (which is REALLY weird in my opinion. Did he think it was like a vacation?), perhaps because of the attention that Dominic got from having surgery after he was born. Then as Dominic's heart got more stable, Brayden's became more of a concern and I think he regretted his wish to have surgery. Once it became a reality, he didn't want to do it. Up until they day they left, he really wished it wasn't happening. Roland said yesterday after talking to all of his doctors about what to expect, he's a bit more relaxed and accepting of his situation.

Here's hoping that all goes well today! Send Brayden your best thoughts! (or maybe even text messages to Roland's phone to pass on messages to Brayden?)

Update on My Little Sweet Pea

Rosalie is growing SO FAST, I am struggling to keep up with her. Her last day of preschool was this past Tuesday and I think she will miss it this summer.

It really does blow my mind how much she has learned this year. I remember prior to her starting preschool she knew that her name started with R and what an R looks like, and she'd know a few letters by sight, but now she is spelling her whole name and can name almost all of the letters. She is so interested in reading and writing that I went out and got her a couple of letter and number work books that we can do over the summer to keep her momentum going (a couple are Star Wars themed by the way, absolutely her choice I swear). She's working on counting but it's not her strong suit. She can count to 6 all by herself, and can get to 12 with assistance. It's just remembering which order they go in is so confusing! But she's getting there. It's a relief that she isn't one of those prodigies that will be doing Trigonometry in Kindergarten. I don't know what I would do with a kid that was smarter than me when they are 5. ;)

She went to her first traditional type Birthday party this past weekend, and she had an absolute blast. I was a bit worried about taking her because we haven't had that kind of birthday party for her yet, ours generally only consist of family, but she wasn't even remotely concerned about that. She really enjoys playing with other kids but is so fiercely independent that she ends up taking off on her own whenever she has the opportunity. I think she has a bit of an introvert streak in her, which is something that I am going to need to learn how to embrace being a relatively extroverted person myself.

She is fearless when it comes to heights and slides

She's growing like a weed! I can't wait to see how much she grows this summer and we do have a lot of plans for shenanigans in the next few months. We're planning lake time, and outings with friends in town, and she'll get to be a flower girl for the first time (and she is so excited), and so much more. Bring on the summer adventures!

Few and Far Between...

It's funny to me that my blog has drifted into what I initially expected it to be at it's conception (VAST majority of book blogs, with a few personal journals mixed in), only to find that I feel I am neglecting the personal aspect! I guess once Dominic was born I got in the habit of posting personal stuff all the time and now I feel like I am missing out on updating on Dominic. But now that he is on the move I have far less time to blog!!

Yes. That's right. My baby is a butt scooting extraordinaire! That little guy can butt scoot around our whole main floor of our house in no time. It has made him fiercely independent and keeps me on my toes. He is also pulling to a stand with very little assistance (he mostly needs help with his balance, that pesky stroke is at the heart of these problems again), and he now has a standing contraption on loan from the Alvin Buckwold Child Development Program in order to get his strength up to stand on his own without him needing to worry about his balance. We get him in it one to two times a day for about 20-30 minutes per time and he loves it.

The most exciting thing that Dominic has done recently is that he has started to use his left hand to do things unprompted. Just little things. For example he and I were playing a game on the computer where he just has to push any key on the keyboard and a little robot will do things on the screen, and he was opting to balance himself with his right hand and push the buttons with his left fist. This may seem like something so little, but it honestly had me in tears. Trust me, ALL of his therapists in every capacity know that he did this because I raved about it when it happened. It has given me so much more hope for his future abilities. Don't get me wrong, it's not like he did nothing with his left hand before, but he mostly just used it as a method to balancing, and small two handed activities (like bracing something to grab with his right hand, or clapping). So... pushing buttons is a HUGE step.

My little man is doing better all the time!

Choosing My Next Book.

Considering the number of books I have in my house, the list of "to read" books, free ebooks I have downloaded, and my wishlist of available ebooks from the library, I really shouldn't have any difficulty picking up a new book after I complete another. But I do.

Big picture, I think my problem is an overabundance of selection. I know, I know -- it sounds more like a blessing than a problem, but is a slight struggle (even if it is one I am more than willing to accept ;) )

One of the aspects that comes in to effect my decision is accessibility. As much as I LOVE reading an actual, real life book, they are not as accessible at all times as an ebook. When I am feeding Dominic, or sitting and watching the kids play, or at the pharmacy and have to wait a few minutes for a prescription, I do not always have my book with me... unless it's on my phone. I rarely go anywhere without my phone, so even a 5 minute opportunity offers me time to read. More than likely during those 5 minute opportunities, if I am reading an actual book, it is sitting on my bedside table, out of reach. Whereas my phone will be in my pocket or purse. OR the other time ebooks come in handy is when Roland is already in bed and I want to read one more chapter*. Reading on my phone means I can lift up the covers so the screen doesn't shine in his face and I can read to my hearts delight. I also enjoy that I read my ebooks so much faster than my real books, mostly because I have them on me all the time. How fast I read my books makes my GoodReads account look better, I think**.

But I love my real books. I look longingly at my bookshelf in my room of unread books, but lately I am more drawn to my ebooks. As much as I love cuddling up with a real book in bed, sometimes that's not enough to win me over....

The next consideration is what type of book I am due for. I hate reading too many Young Adult or Chick Lit in a row because I feel it ruins my book street cred***. Plus I pride myself on my eclectic tastes in books, so I prefer to spread around the love in genre form. So what did I read last? What would the balance be? Am I ready to commit to reading another Non-Fiction this year? Do I need something light or heavy? Do I want something simple or something that challenges my opinions or viewpoints? All of these things need to be considered before I can just leap into a new book.

So the question remains... what the heck am I going to read next?


*It's never really only one more chapter.
** As a side not, everyone needs to either update their GoodReads account more often, or sign up for GoodReads if you haven't already. Sometimes all it takes to make my day is to see what someone thought of a book I have never read. The saddest day this week was a day that I went 24 hours without ANYONE updating their goodreads account. I was borderline depressed that day. 
*** I'm only really half kidding here

Dumplin'

Self-proclaimed fat girl Willowdean Dickson (dubbed “Dumplin’” by her former beauty queen mom) has always been at home in her own skin. Her thoughts on having the ultimate bikini body? Put a bikini on your body. With her all-American beauty best friend, Ellen, by her side, things have always worked…until Will takes a job at Harpy’s, the local fast-food joint. There she meets Private School Bo, a hot former jock. Will isn’t surprised to find herself attracted to Bo. But she is surprised when he seems to like her back.

Instead of finding new heights of self-assurance in her relationship with Bo, Will starts to doubt herself. So she sets out to take back her confidence by doing the most horrifying thing she can imagine: entering the Miss Clover City beauty pageant—along with several other unlikely candidates—to show the world that she deserves to be up there as much as any twiggy girl does. Along the way, she’ll shock the hell out of Clover City—and maybe herself most of all.

With starry Texas nights, red candy suckers, Dolly Parton songs, and a wildly unforgettable heroine—Dumplin’ is guaranteed to steal your heart. 



It's safe to say I enjoyed this book. As with many Young Adult novels, it was really fun and goofy at times, and for the most part, really positive and uplifting.

I think one of the most important messages this book has to offer is that even the most confident people have their insecurities at some point. They may be very well hidden even if they are a constant in a person's life, or they could be only temporary under special circumstances. We ALL have our weaknesses and weak moments. And they can stem from a multitude of different things. The could be appearence related, or intellegence, monetary, status... any basis really for any person. It is not unusual. And that is OK. It's a struggle to overcome, and everyone has them.

As much as this is a "body positive" book, I think it's important that the book validates that everyone needs to feel beautiful. That doesn't mean that you need to buy into what the media presents as beautiful-- you do not need to be a size 00 in order to be beautiful. Willowdean excels at this in the novel and really is a role model for all women. She knows who she is and doesn't compromise that. She is herself to the fullest the way that I could only wish I could be. 

The problem with this book is that I found there were too many unanswered questions at the end of it. I don't think it needs an entire sequel, but an epilogue would have been nice.

This is one of those books that I think all women could takes something from. And after you're done reading it, get your teenage (or maybe even preteen) daughter to read it. Talk about it. Hopefully you will make a positive connection over it.  

Annabel

Kathleen Winter’s luminous debut novel is a deeply affecting portrait of life in an enchanting seaside town and the trials of growing up unique in a restrictive environment. 

In 1968, into the devastating, spare atmosphere of the remote coastal town of Labrador, Canada, a child is born: a baby who appears to be neither fully boy nor fully girl, but both at once. Only three people are privy to the secret: the baby’s parents, Jacinta and Treadway, and a trusted neighbor and midwife, Thomasina. Though Treadway makes the difficult decision to raise the child as a boy named Wayne, the women continue to quietly nurture the boy’s female side. And as Wayne grows into adulthood within the hyper-masculine hunting society of his father, his shadow-self, a girl he thinks of as "Annabel," is never entirely extinguished.

Kathleen Winter has crafted a literary gem about the urge to unveil mysterious truth in a culture that shuns contradiction, and the body’s insistence on coming home. A daringly unusual debut full of unforgettable beauty, Annabel introduces a remarkable new voice to American readers. 


This book made me realize something about myself that I had never thought about before. Apparently, I have very strong opinions about how to raise a child that is not specifically male or female. I have never met a child or adult (that I know of) that is or has been considered Intersexed (from my research, I have discovered that this the politically correct term for Human Hermaphroditism), but I became particularly emotional when Wayne's parents made decisions about how to raise him that I felt were constrictive before they even knew who he would grow up to be. I needed to remind myself that in this book Wayne was born in the 60s and things were quite different back then, but that didn't stop me from thinking about how I would do things differently, and what I would feel would be far less damaging to a child's self image and esteem. 

I was also very aware of how people place far too much concern on gender. After going through everything I have with my youngest, I understand how advantageous it can be to have surgeries as young as possible, but one that is so determinant of self image and gender identity seems reckless. How can you choose a sex for a child before having them develop a personality, realize their tendencies, and possibly include their wishes? I get the feeling from this novel that perhaps people were more invested in the idea of nurture over nature at the time, and figured that as long as you raise your child in such a way that encourages a certain sex, then your child will become more gender identified with it (Could you imagine if it was that easy?: You want your child to be a doctor? Buy your child doctor toys and they will be a doctor!! Horray!). However, now we have a greater understanding of what creates a person's identity and it is far more a combination of the two than it is either nurture or nature.

There was a line that really hit home for me early in the book, just shortly after Wayne was born: His mom says: "when you are a mother, you take it all in stride. You take albino hair in stride, when you are a mother. When you are the mother, not someone watching that mother, you take odd coloured eyes in stride. You take a missing hand in stride and the same with Down Syndrome, and spina bifida, and water on the brain. You would take wings in stride, or one lung outside the body, or a missing tongue." This is exactly how I felt about Dominic's diagnosis and I feel is a great depiction of parenthood. People always said how they didn't understand how I could handle everything so well when Dominic was diagnosed with everything he was diagnosed with. As a mom, you just take it all in stride. It can always be worse, until it can't, and that is when you break. Until that point, it's just another fact about your child. It doesn't change how you love them, it just makes you more aware of their struggles.

Also, this book made me want to hug and snuggle all the babies. Especially ones that have a rough start or a tough situation. As soon as the baby was born (before baby was even named) I just felt this huge urge to cuddle this baby that wasn't considered "normal", to whisper to this baby that everything will be fine and people will send love regardless of the gender that was chosen. That things would be tough, but s/he wasn't all that different, not a "freak" if anyone dared to call him/her that. S/he was just a baby, and someone to be loved and cuddled like everyone else. Perhaps I think love and cuddles will make everything alright, but so far it seems to have worked for Dominic ;)

This really was a good book, but still wasn't a five-star rating in my opinion. The biggest fault it had was some errors in facts about true intersexed individuals. Through some fact checking I came to realize one particular aspect of the story would technically make this a science fiction novel. I won't get into specifics about it due to spoilers, but know that not all the information presented about intesexed people is likely, or even at all possible. It gave me a lot to think about, which is something I really value in a novel. It did have a few parts in it that seemed to slow down the pace and lose my attention for a bit though. It was good, it just wasn't perfect. 

The Other Widow

Everybody’s luck runs out. This time it could be theirs . . .

It isn’t safe. That’s what Joe tells her when he ends their affair—moments before their car skids off an icy road in a blinding snowstorm and hits a tree. Desperate to keep her life intact—her job, her husband, and her precious daughter, Lily—Dorrie will do everything she can to protect herself, even if it means walking away from the wreckage. Dorrie has always been a good actress, pretending to be someone else: the dutiful daughter, the satisfied wife, the woman who can handle anything. Now she’s going to put on the most challenging performance of her life. But details about the accident leave her feeling uneasy and afraid. Why didn’t Joe’s airbag work? Why was his car door open before the EMTs arrived? And now suddenly someone is calling her from her dead lover’s burner phone. . . .

Joe’s death has left his wife in free fall as well. Karen knew Joe was cheating—she found some suspicious e-mails. Trying to cope with grief is devastating enough without the constant fear that has overtaken her—this feeling she can’t shake that someone is watching her. And with Joe gone and the kids grown, she’s vulnerable . . . and on her own.

Insurance investigator Maggie Devlin is suspicious of the latest claim that’s landed on her desk—a man dying on an icy road shortly after buying a lucrative life insurance policy. Maggie doesn’t believe in coincidences. The former cop knows that things—and people—are never what they seem to be.

As the fates of these three women become more tightly entwined, layers of lies and deception begin to peel away, pushing them dangerously to the edge . . . closer to each other . . . to a terrifying truth . . . to a shocking end. 

I was sent this book by Harper Collins Canada as part of their First Look program. In exchange for the free book I was asked to review it and give my honest opinion on it.

They even made it look pretty for me!

I was so excited to receive this book from Harper Collins I immediately bumped it to next in line on my read list, plus I really wanted to get it read and give them a review by their deadline. (today. Oops. I hope they give me the weekend as a grace period :/ )

The premise of the novel sounded really intriguing so I looked forward to reading it and hopped in as soon as I had the chance. Unfortunately, I was a bit slow going at the beginning and I didn't really get socially invested in any of the characters, so being concerned with what was happening to them was sort of a problem. Part of the reason I believe this is is because the main characters, the women that revolve the narration of the story, are pretty cookie-cutter. They are typical women in the roles they navigate through the story. Karen and Dorrie are down-right boring, but at least Maggie had her moments of being interesting (I particularly liked her taste in music ;) ). I think I may have liked it better if Maggie narrated the whole book, however, that would not have been very effective for the progression of the plot. 

Once the character development was over with, the story did start to get a bit more interesting. The compelling clues that were mentioned, the questions that many of the characters ask themselves or others about certain plot points keeps the story moving in a forward motion, the problem was that the story was interesting, but not particularly engaging. I was never "on the edge of my seat" like I would expect from a murder mystery novel, and I think that goes back to not being very invested in the main characters. 

The story was well thought out, when the points of the case are all patched together it makes sense and is relatively satisfying, however, the ending did not feel quite as satisfying. After the climax of the story, Crawford attempts to wrap up all the loose ends, but we are told what becomes of everyone involved by other people and I didn't find those explanations to be convincing enough. There are many justifications that just did not seem to be enough, and I believe that it can only be attributed to either weak writing or a thinly veiled attempt to set up a sequel or series. 

Perhaps this book just wasn't meant for me, maybe there are people out there that enjoy slower moving mystery novels, just like how some people prefer their food as bland as possible, unfortunately I am not one of them. One of the definite positive points of this novel is that it makes sense and I didn't find any overwhelming plot holes, and that is what often makes or breaks a book for me. It was a well thought out book, I just wish it had moved a bit quicker and evoked a bit more emotion from me. So this book ends up with just a solid "OK" in my opinion.

I appreciated Harper Collins sending me this novel, and I hope to get more from them in the future, because I would love to give a glowing recommendation rather than a mediocre one. :/

While We're Far Apart

In an unassuming apartment building in Brooklyn, New York, three lives intersect as the reality of war invades each aspect of their lives. Young Esther is heartbroken when her father decides to enlist in the army shortly after the death of her mother. Penny Goodrich has been in love with Eddie Shaffer for as long as she can remember; now that Eddie's wife is dead, Penny feels she has been given a second chance and offers to care for his children in the hope that he will finally notice her and marry her after the war. And elderly Mr. Mendel, the landlord, waits for the war to end to hear what has happened to his son trapped in war-torn Hungary.
But during the long, endless wait for victory overseas, life on the home front will go from bad to worse. Yet these characters will find themselves growing and changing in ways they never expected--and ultimately discovering truths about God's love...even when He is silent. 


How I love my World War II historical fiction. 

I enjoyed this one as much as most of the WWII/Holocaust fiction I have read. This one was interesting because it wasn't directly about people who were actually fighting the war or trying to survive Hitler's Final Solution. It was more about the families back home in the United States and how they are effected by that which they have no control over. This was both a good and erroneous approach to the events in my opinion. It was good because it was a perspective I had never considered before, but it was a bit presumptuous and sort of skirting around the actual issues of the war. I mean, it seemed like the author was trying to point out how tough it was for people that didn't go to war, and I'm sitting here thinking 'pretty sure these people should be happy they aren't being shot at or forced into work camps or poisioned in gas chambers.' I know it's rough to have possible family members suffering these atrocities, but don't try to play it off as if they were having such an awful time. At least they could mentally escape it once and a while. 

It really made me aware of how slow news traveled back in the day though. I couldn't imagine having to wait weeks on end to hear back from family members overseas. In our day in age, it's easy to communicate almost immediately with anyone anywhere in the world at a moment's notice, but then you would wait weeks at a time to recieve a letter, and even if you wrote letters every day, your correspondent was unlikely to get them one day at a time. They might get 3 letters one day and then have to wait 5 days to get another influx. I'm sure those 5 days would be seem like agony when you know your family member was in harms way. 

A frustrating aspect of this novel for me was the over usage of many words and phrases. She probably wrote "conniption fit" about 30 times, and that one particularly stuck out to me because a conniption is a type of fit. So it's redundant. She's saying "fit fit" technically. Drives me up the wall. Austin is not a rookie author and I expect more from authors that have a good 2 dozen+ books under their belt. Kick it up a notch Lynn!

[SPOILER ALERT: Skip this paragraph if you do not want to read any spoilers!!... Ok, are you gone?... seriously just skip down to the next paragraph if you might read this book... last chance... If you are still here consider yourself warned. And if you want to comment on this spoiler in the comments, I request that you also put a spoiler alert at the beginning of your comment. The other issue I had with this book was the ending. I know I prefer happy endings to sad ones, but this one was disappointing in it's unlikelyhood. Every single one of the people overseas that were directly connected to our main characters survived. MILLIONS of people died in the Holocaust, and TENS OF MILLIONS of people died fighting the war, but EVERYONE in this book survived. I find that extremely unlikely and unfair to readers. I guess war isn't so bad, eh? [/sarcasm] [/spoilers]

If you like historical fiction from this era, but want to be a bit removed from all of the violence, this book is perfect for you. It's not as heavy as a lot of the WWII fiction I have read, but it's peripheral enough that you get a bit of a sense of it. It may have it's flaws, but it's definitely worth a read. 

My Baby Lost His Button!

Dominic, in many ways, is just a regular little (yet slightly delayed) sweet boy. We are constantly going to PT/OT/SLP appointments, with the occasional peds, cardio, gastronomy, or neurology thrown in there... so... I guess he's still a pretty complicated little guy, but generally we come out with smiles and positive feedback whenever we go to appointments these days.

Now that things are not so big and intimidating (no surgeries in the books in the near future!), little things seem to be bigger deals again. Our newest update is that Dominic has officially gotten rid of his feeding tube (otherwise known as a G-button)!

Last picture with his button. So long and thanks for all the help you gave us!
(Also a little glimpse of his weird ass belly button. This is what it looks like after a hernia repair before he grows in to all that extra skin!)

He got it put in during the same surgery as his cleft lip repair last May in order to stop him from having his NG tube (the one that went through his nose and was taped to his cheek). We were told if he didn't use it for 6 months, and it was within a year of getting it put in we could get it removed without surgery. So Dominic and I have been doing everything we can to not use it. He has been eating like a champ since last November (just before we went to Edmonton for his cardiac cath procedure), which put us on target to get it removed this month. With only the slight hiccup of his oral aversion after his palate surgery, he has eaten his full feeds without use of the tube for a long time. So when we got booked for this appointment, I was ready to push to get it taken out. I wasn't sure if it was so simple that we could do it at this appointment, but if it wasn't that simple I was going to push to get an appointment made to make it happen.

I didn't really need to push as hard as I expected at the appointment. The Gastronomy nurse and I were really on the same page. Since we had already talked about my plan when I was considering using it to get Dom out of the hospital back in January (which she OKed and got us home), things went exactly according to plan. Her only concern was if Dominic were to get ill and go off food how we would keep him hydrated. This seemed like a pretty weak argument to me. I mean, other kids get sick and get dehydrated and it's not rocket science what you do... you take them to the hospital if it gets bad enough. Seemed like a silly "what if..." scenario to try to get me to keep it. But I won anyway. It's gone! My baby is completely line free!

Good work my little man! You are getting stronger every day!

Book Confessions Tag

I was actually tagged to do this on my blog a year ago by a fellow blogger on Facebook and I completely forgot about it (or perhaps missed it somehow), but it came up in my "On This Day" feed a few days ago. Better late than never!!

What is the most recent book you did not finish?
Nine Suitcases. I'm not even sure why I didn't end up finishing it. It was a tough read (subject wise. Non-fiction Holocaust story. You know what I mean), and I think I ended up reading some great fiction concurrently and got completely distracted by those. I didn't get far into Nine Suitcases before I put it aside. I guess it just wasn't the right time for it. I still plan on giving it another go at some point.

Which book is your guilty pleasure?
I'm pretty unabashed by anything I read, so I am not to guilty about anything. If I don't like something I'm not afraid to say it. Maybe just Young Adult novels in general? I mean, they are a bit easier to read, and are generally a bit cheesy, especially if they are intended for Teen girls. So they are kinda cramping my book-nerd street cred. Does that work?

Which book would you hate to receive as a present?
Anything by, like, Jackie Collins or Nora Roberts... or some other stupid poppy vapid author. Guh, there are just some authors you couldn't pay me to read. (pretentious much?)

Divulge your secret reading spot...
Anywhere, anytime. Not gunna lie, sometimes I enjoy going to doctors appointments for myself because I don't have to take the kids, so I can read in the waiting room. There are no secret spots... just secret opportunities.

Which book do you love to hate?
This is a tough question because I'm not totally sure what it means. Like, a book that I love to talk about how terrible it is? Something that if you said it was your favourite book, I might not be able to be friends with you anymore? That would go to either 50 Shades of Grey or The DaVinci Code. Or does it mean, a book that I love because it made me mad or evoked some kind of negative emotion thus kinda creating a call to action? That would be The Natashas by Victor Malarek. It was a non-fiction about Human Trafficking, and I seriously wanted to try to go down to the Blue Bay Massage Parlour and raise some noise (I have no evidence that they use human trafficking there, but... it was definitely possible). I got very educated about the world by that book.

Which book made you angriest?
Another one that's a bit tough to answer. I guess, whichever isn't the answer to the above would be an answer to this one? But there are also a few books that made me angry because they started off being really good and then had crummy endings... those make me angry... can't think of any specifically right now though. Maybe that At A Loss For Words book I read that was stupid and horrible and I am not sure why I read it the whole way through?

Which book made you cry the most?
Probably Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I was so attached to those characters (and pets! You know what I'm talking about people of the Potterverse!) that it was devastating to see some of them meet their end. Also any book where a baby dies or miscarries. I am a total mess when something happens to any baby. Doesn't matter how small the relevance to the plot is. And actually, now that I am thinking about it, the baby doesn't even need to die. For example, I won't say the title for spoiler reasons, but there is one book I just read where a mother hands over her baby to a complete stranger in order to save his life, and this happened in about a paragraph, and I bawled. I couldn't imagine making that choice, possibly never to see your baby ever again, but knowing it's for the best, and making that sacrifice... So anything happens to a baby and the waterworks turn on. But if I had to pick a specific book it would be Harry Potter #7... nothing to do with babies. Huh. Weird.

Still Missing

On the day she was abducted, Annie O’Sullivan, a 32-year-old realtor, had three goals—sell a house, forget about a recent argument with her mother, and be on time for dinner with her ever-patient boyfriend. The open house is slow, but when her last visitor pulls up in a van as she's about to leave, Annie thinks it just might be her lucky day after all.

Still Missing interweaves the year Annie spent as the captive of a psychopath in a remote mountain cabin, which unfold through sessions with her psychiatrist, with a second narrative following the events after her escape—her struggle to piece her shattered life back together and the ongoing police investigation into the identity of her captor.

Still Missing is a shocking, visceral, brutal and beautifully crafted novel. 


I sort of posted about this one prior to reading it in My Current Connundrum post. I often sign up to be on a hold list for a book ONLY if the line up has been ridiculously long and then scaled back to reasonable levels (don't ask me why I do it this way, it's just how I roll). This book was recommended to me by an avid reading coworker and when she first told me about it, it wasn't available from the library as an ebook, but one day I noticed it on the "new ebooks" page, so I popped it on my Wish List and went back to reading whichever book I was on at the time. I checked on it again when I was completed that book to find out that if I put it on hold that day, there would be 20-some people in front of me to read it, if each of them took two weeks to read it... well, you get the idea. I don't feel the need to put something on hold if it might be a year before it gets to me. I just check all of my Wish List books periodically, make sure I am still interested in reading them, and if it's a reasonable wait, I put a hold on them. Then I check how close I am to getting them every time I go to the website for any reason. I usually only have about 3 on hold at a time, and never close to getting them at the same time.... ANYWHOODLE, after posting the previous post (linked), I got it about a day later, and I solved my conundrum by just finishing the "sample" of the book offered and then I was lucky enough that it came available the day after, not hindering my writing groove at all. So, yay for that.


This book was devastating in so many ways. It is not for the faint of heart, so it's difficult for me to recommend. But I was definitely on the edge of my seat for most of it. 

It's hard for me not to compare it to Room, which isn't really fair because they are very different, but with very similar premises. Still Missing is a Room-like story except everything that went well (er... at least, not horribly awful) for Jack and his mom, went absolutely horribly for Annie. The most basic example I can give without spoiling anything is that at least Jack and his mom had their own space and Old Nick would only show up at night. Annie could not escape her captor ever, and if he did leave, often she would go without food for a while, and start wondering if she was going to die because he might never came back. Think about ALL of those little things that Jack and his mom had that weren't terrible, those little things that kept them sane... Annie had none of those. I thought Room was horrific, well, Still Missing is Room x 10. Although one thing that I must say is that Room was written quite a bit better than Still Missing. There was something about the progression of the story and the use of Jack's narrative that made it a better read. 

As much as I can say I liked this book, there were some parts that were pretty far out there when it came to believablity. Part of me (probably the corrections worker part) believe that there are people that would do harm to others in the way it was portrayed in this book, but part of me also believes that people like that would have just killed Annie and she never would have escaped. And then there is a whole "conflict of interest" relationship that I am sure would have compromised Annie's case and would have gotten one of her investigation team members removed from her case... so there are aspects about this book that I question. (Room on the other hand, no questions about whether or not something like that could happen in that way to someone.)

Still Missing had a greater sense of Mystery to it than Room did. Annie really didn't have a clue what happened to her, where she was, why she was chosen, etc. for most of the book. So those little tidbits of information that we were given so slowly really did keep the propulsion of the story going. So if I were to categorize this book, I would say it's a pop-culture mystery book whereas Room is very much more Modern Literature. Room was about recovery more than anything. No mystery there.

Overall, I would recommend Room before I would recommend this one, but I do feel Still Missing has it's place somewhere. Liking Room does not necessarily mean you will like this one, and vice versa. I would probably say you need a little bit more of a "morbid curiosity" for this one.