Swim Lessons

Rosalie, Dominic and Brayden all started a new round of swimming lessons a couple weeks ago, and this round of swimming has brought new things to both Rosalie and Dominic. It is Dominic's first time in a swimming pool EVER, and Rosalie's first time in unparented lessons. Although Rosalie struggled the first lesson without me in the water with her, she handled her second one like a trooper this past Friday. She is generally a pretty independent kid, so I'm sure the rest of the lessons will be fine now, but I am going to miss doing swimming lessons with her, she is such a little fish. Hopefully Dominic gets to be that way. And Brayden now seems interested in completing the Swim Kids program and possibly getting into life guarding as a summer job in the future, and I'm sure if he buckles down he'll be able to do it by the time he is 16!

Having Dominic in Swim Lessons is a bit of an adjustment for me. To be completely honest I am still a bit sensitive about his cleft and rarely take him out in public where people will have the opportunity to ogle him. We go to gatherings with friends, people that understand his struggles and will love him regardless, and the grocery store, where I generally keep him in his carseat and then the only person that may really look at him is the cashier, but being at the swimming pool is totally different. We go swimming during the day when it's only kids, other stay at home moms, and retired people there. I've never felt even remotely uncomfortable with the parents or retired people, I think I just imagine that people seeing him will be worse than it ever is. However, the kids make it tough. Obviously a vast majority of kids under the age of 5 have never seen anyone with a cleft lip, and so they don't know any better and they are too young realize it's rude to stare. I have yet to have any of them say anything out loud, but I can just see on the kids faces as they walk by that as soon as they catch up to their mom's in the change room they will say something like "mom, what was wrong with that baby's face?". To be honest sometimes I would almost rather they say this in front of me so I can hear their mom's answer. Sometimes I feel that I want to have that confrontation so that I can advocate for Dominic and any other kid with a facial deformity, other times I think I would say nothing, look to the parent and only react depending on whether or not I was invited into the conversation, and occassionally, if it's been one of our rough days, I might just pretend I didn't hear and make every effort not to cry. I'm glad that once this surgery is done in May I won't need to worry about it so much any more.

The swimming lessons themselves have been great though. Dominic isn't really a huge fan right now, but he seems relatively impartial. He doesn't really seem to enjoy the classes, but he has never cried either. So I'll take that to mean that as soon as he gets used to being in the water, he will like being there. I also think that when his cleft is all fixed he will actually get more out of it too. One of the optional parts of class is submerging the babes in water, and I can't really do that with Dominic because water would just go rushing into his mouth through his cleft.

One other thing that Swim Lessons has brought to my attention is just how far behind Dominic is in regards to his physical development. I have been telling myself ever since he got out of the hospital that he wasn't really that far behind, but when I see him surrounded by babies that are close to his age, and some are even quite a bit younger, his delays seem very obvious. Most of the kids in his class can sit up on their own, and Dominic is not doing that at all yet. I can give you about six reasons as to why that is, but that doesn't change the fact that he is behind. People may say "all babies learn at their own pace" and that is true, but I need to stop kidding myself into believing that he is just like every other kid his age now. He is not. And I really need to start actively trying to get him to meet these milestones rather than letting it happen in it's own time. I think I need to increase his tummy time (somehow? I have to figure out how to keep him on his belly, he rolls onto his back so quick now), try to coax him in to rolling on to his belly, and work with him on sitting on his own... in addition to the physio exercises we are still doing at home for his left side because of his stroke.

Rereading that last paragraph it may seem like I am really concerned about his delays, but I'm not really. I do realize that he has a lot of cards stacked against him, and he will meet these milestones in time, but I need to give him the best chance at catching up and not falling behind too much. I need to do better and helping him to do these things, especially because he is SO interested in standing and walking but doesn't have the skills to achieve that yet. He cognitively knows what he should be trying to do right now physically, but his body just isn't ready to do them yet.

He'll get there. He will. He just needs a little extra help, which I am more than happy to give. :)