To live with, or without...

I have this group of fabulous people called Film Club that I go to movies with whenever I can. We go to a movie on the second Tuesday of every month and rotate who chooses the movie in alphabetical order of last names. Then we go out for coffee afterward. It's a great opportunity to go to movies and have an in depth discussion of them. I discovered a few months into my relationship with Roland that he doesn't like to do this. He either likes a movie or he doesn't and he doesn't want to have to explain or justify it or discuss why with anyone. I, on the other hand  love to nit pick. As do everyone else in Film Club. Unfortunately, I generally don't get to go for coffee anymore, because I am rushing home to get Rosalie fed and to bed (only slightly later than the routine permits)

Last night was Craig's pick, and he chose The Impossible. He was interested in seeing Naomi Watts' academy award nominated performance before the Oscars on the 24th. (Note: I don't think it was all that stellar, and I'd be surprised if she won. Her performance can't really compare to, say, Meryl Streep in... well, anything Meryl's done really. SHE is stellar). For those who aren't familiar  it's the story of a family of five's (Mom, Dad, 3 sons) experience with the Indian Ocean Tsunami in 2004. I don't really want to say more than that, because if you want to see the movie I don't want to spoil anything. If you do see this movie I would love to talk about it with you!

What I really want to talk about is the perspective I came away with after seeing this film. I think most people walk away from a movie like this thinking about what they would have done or what they can do to avoid ever being in that situation (I have NO PLANS to go anywhere that's not landlocked for a while). What I came away with was thinking about what I could live with, and what I couldn't live with if that happened to me. The only answer I came out with for certain, is that as long as one of my kids survived, I would be able to keep going on living. I would, of course, still mourn the rest of my family, and I could never imagine having to choose to save one kid over another other. It would be devastating to lose any one of them. But to make it out without a single one of my kids, I think I would see no point in living anymore. Re-reading that, it sounds a little over dramatic, but it's true, and I don't know how to rewrite it so that it doesn't sounds cheesy or whatever.

This is by no means a profound thought, in fact, many of the parent's reading might be thinking "Obviously!". When I was telling my mom about this she basically finished my sentence for me. I said "If not even one of my kids made it out alive..." "... you'd feel you might as well have drowned" she said instantly. Which is exactly what I was thinking. But it was something I had never considered before. I don't think many people do. I think people would rather not think about those kind of situations. In that case, many of the unanswerable questions I really don't want to think about.

It seems like lately any movie I have gone to with a family premise, I come away thinking about my own situation. How I would react, what I would do... With any luck I will never be put in any situation where these things come to life, but for some reason I find comfort in knowing how I would feel before hand. Feeling like I know myself enough to know where my limits are, even if they aren't really pleasant to think about.