Fiction vs. Non-Fiction

The book I am going to review today is one that I have been reading for quite a while, but it's not because I didn't like it. It's because it's Non-Fiction. I, like many women like me, prefer Fiction to Non-Fiction. I think it's that escapism that fiction books offer, I get lost in stories, whereas I love to learn, so Non-Fiction has it's place, but sometimes it's just not fun reading. There were times in University that I would read textbooks until my brain went numb, so I would stop, and then pick up the fiction book I was reading and read that for hours afterward. Reading Fiction is just not the same as reading Non-Fiction.

Anyway, I am generally a one-book-at-a-time kinda girl, but I will occasionally read one Fiction and one Non-Fiction at the same time. I justify this because they are like apples and oranges, they are both fruit, you may generally prefer one over the other, but sometimes you just have to sneak an orange into your apple routine. The Non-Fiction book usually takes me longer to read anyway, but it fulfils that craving that I get on occasion.

One of the “problems” with Non-Fiction books is that you can generally google or wikipedia a topic to get the “coles notes” version and save yourself several hours of time and get to the answer you were looking for. I know, it's not the same. But I feel I have so much time to learn about more things with the internet than I do when I read an entire book of Non-Fiction (... sue me... whatever...) Plus almost all Non-Fiction books have some kind of bias within them that makes them tough to swallow sometimes. One author with one opinion = bias vs. Internet encyclopida with several opinions = less bias.

For example, I was reading a book called “The Dog By The Cradle, The Serpent Beneath” by Erika Ritter, which is all about the paradoxes of human relationships with animals. I am a bit of an animal lover, and if cows didn't taste so darn good I probably wouldn't eat them. But if I had to hunt my own food I would be a vegetarian for sure. Anyway, I digress... Part way through the book she talked about Cesar Millan and how she didn't approve of his training methods, but she didn't really understand them properly. I couldn't finish it after that. Cesar Millan is a GOD of the dog ownership world. I raised Boca using his principles and if she doesn't behave how I want her to, it's because I've been neglecting some of his teachings. I know it. Boca knows it. And Cesar Millan probably knows it... cuz gods are omniscient and stuff...

~*~

[Spoilers alert! This is one of those books you really can't talk about unless you give examples]

Yes, there are times when it’s appropriate to reason with your child, to patiently and eloquently explain why he or she needs to do as you ask. You might present convincing arguments like “Because it makes you strong”; “Because it will keep you safe”; “Because it’s good for you”; “Because it’s bad for you.” But there are times when the only thing that really makes sense is . . . “Because I said so!!”

This book is a hilarious, honest romp through motherhood—the joys, the sleeplessness, the frazzled days, the unending carpooling, the in-house refereeing, the dieting (yeah, right), the worrying—and did we say, the joy?

Here’s what some of that joy looks like—with excerpts straight from the book:

• I tried to do the Buns of Steel video, but quickly realized that it wasn’t intended for people who have buns of pudding.

• I felt like my head might explode. I kind of hoped it would so I could take a nice, peaceful ambulance ride out of there.

• I was a little at a loss. I mean, those parenting books don’t tell you how to break up a fight over an imaginary friend.

• Moms aren’t allowed to get sick more than one day a year. Single moms aren’t allowed to get sick ever.

• Before you have children you can’t imagine yourself saying things like “Don’t put chocolate milk in your pants,” “Take the hot dog out of your nose,” or “Because I said so!”

If you’re a mom-to-be or a mom in the trenches, you’ll love knowing that you’re not the only one out there who sometimes just figures it out as you go along—and sometimes can’t figure it out at all. But in the end, Dawn has these words of encouragement just for you: “Enjoy this time. Even when they make you crazy, these are the best days of your life.” And they really are, aren’t they?

Ok. So. This book is not my favourite of all time, but it was good. I think most parents should read it. My issue with it (and it's not so much of an “issue” as a weakness in my ability to read it), is that I do not have a teenager (yet), and I don't have an amount of children that outnumber me and my spouse (yet), and I haven't had to deal with any toddler issues (yet). So when she talks about things to do (have a speech ready for what is expected of your kids BEFORE you go out grocery shopping) and not do (NEVER wash a disposable diaper... especially the toddler pull up kinds), I don't find them so much hilarious as I find them educational. I promise I will NEVER wash a disposable diaper by accident (but if I do, I promise to blog about it)

One more thing that made this book less than a 5-star book is the writing style. Ms. Meehan started out as a blogger and wrote this book in the same style. Don't get me wrong, I love a good blog, but in book form I felt it should have been a little more “high brow”, clean up your style a little bit. Don't start chapters with “Have you ever...?”. And don't write like you talk, people generally have pretty crappy grammar when they talk...

That being said there were some pretty hilarious parts in this book. A few of which I have included because they made me laugh out loud and/or I can totally relate to in my household. They will also give you a peek into what to expect from this book. If you don't want spoilers, then don't read any further. Last warning...

• “As all parents know, you have to pack a diaper bag before leaving the house. The contents of this diaper bag vary greatly depending on how many children you have and how old they are. For example, a first time parent of a newborn baby would probably pack a dozen diapers, two bibs, two onesies, three sleepers, fifteen toys, two soft books, three burp cloths, extra socks, a hat, booties, a sweater, two blankets, five bottles, a thermometer, a book about baby's first year, the camera, fourteen rolls of film, a camcorder, an infant bathtub, and – finally – the baby, to go to the drive through at the bank.”
  
  
• “A couple of years ago, I hired a company to clean out the ductwork [of my house]. As the worker vacuumed out each register, I heard clunking and rattling sounds. He was obviously sucking up more than just dust. When he finished, he told me, 'I think I might have sucked up some of your kid's toys.'
  “'No kidding, huh?'
  “He walked outside to empty out the vacuum and returned, saying 'You know what I found in the vacuum?'
  “'Jimmy Hoffa?'
  “'No. A pair of underwear' He handed me a small pair of underwear with Cinderella on it.”
  
  
• “Kids have selective hearing. They can't help it; it's inherited. They get it from their fathers.
  “I'll tell my son, 'You need to get your homework done right away because we're eating dinner, taking your sister to her softball game after dinner, and then meeting friends for ice cream, and we won't get home until late. So really, now is the only time you have to get it done. You'd better get started'
  “What my son heard was 'ice cream'
  “As I call the kids to the kitchen table for dinner, my son thoroughly confused asks, 'We're eating now?'
  “'Yes'
  “'Oh. Then we're going for ice cream, right?'
  “'No. Then we're going to your sister's ball game.'
  “'Oh. Why didn't you tell me? When am I supposed to get my homework done?'”